Another Survey: this time Sports

Survey Again

Hair Survey

Survey Time

Taking the Leap of Faith

Our lives are filled with different stories. Different chapters with different characters in it. Some have already ended while some are just starting. But sometimes also, even if we don't realize it, we are taking our excess baggage with us. Thus putting a strain in our present relationships. Relationships with our parents, loved ones, friends, special someone. That is why we need to learn the art of letting go. At times it is difficult, because sometimes we like to hold on to these things not because we like to but because we are afraid to move forward. To face new challenges. Here is an article from Paulo Coelho ( a personal favorite), from which we can learn a thing or two. I know that this article has already been overused but i was just reminded to read this again because of some circumstances. I love the message. And today i made a promise to myself that i am taking the leap of faith. I will no longer be afraid. I will allow people to love me, because more than anybody else, i deserve to be love and to be happy.
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Closing Cycles
by: Paulo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a
standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the
books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of
certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop
turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions
that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has
passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Reality Sucks

Long distance relationship is hard. It is a lot harder when you fight. And i think it is all my fault, because i opened my big mouth. Because i am broken and i am dark and twisty inside. Because i am hard to understand. Because i've been hurt.

In the middle of the fight, i said the L-word. I did not even know what made me say it, all i know is that it came from the heart. I was even surprised at myself because i didn't know that i already feel that way. And his reaction was even worse. How can you love someone whom you haven't seen yet? I don't know. Maybe because i am stupid. Maybe because this is how i love. And maybe this is also the reason why i end up getting hurt all the time. Because i love too much.

Next time i'll remind myself to shut my big mouth.

Survey Time

Happy Mother's Day

To the hands that rock the cradle.....

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

I Love you Mommy!!!

Ako Mismo

About akomismo.org:

AKO mismo is about YOU

making a stand and taking real action for the causes you believe in. Causes that you yourself can truly pursue to make a real, positive difference to your fellow countryman, to your country.

It is for you who still dare to hope that life for millions doesnt have to be a hopeless battle against problems like poverty, illiteracy, unemployment.

It is for you who believe that not enough is being done about our countrys problems. And that to do right things, youll do them yourself.

It is a movement where you can show your patriotism and compassion, and make these traits infectious.

Its about action that eradicates hopelessness in every Filipino.

How hard will this be to accomplish? Well that will be entirely up to you.
In AKO MISMO you get to choose the cause you wish to pursue. No cause is too small as long as it is a noble one. All we ask is that you make a pledge to do it.

You yourself can pledge anything: from teaching English to your yayas kid, to making sure that your barangay is dengue-free.

Or make a pledge to do your part in ending corruption, prostitution, illegal drugs or the inhumane treatment of animals. The choice is yours.

No matter how small, as long as you pledge that you yourself will take action, its sure to make a big difference.

Giving more hope for Filipinos to stop merely surviving, and start living. And it starts with you.

MISMO yan.

http://www.akomismo.org
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The ad made its debut during the much-anticipated Pacquiao-Hatton fight and has now generated much buzz. Frankly, what caught my attention was the fact that Ely Buendia was on the TVC. Hayzzz wafu talaga niya *sigh*. But then i decided to check out the website and was impressed by the site. In fairness maganda yung web site nila. I already made my pledge. I don't need to expand anymore on their agenda because it was already explained above. As for me, i want that dog tag. Wonder where i can buy those? I heard that they are going to be available in the weeks to come. It's hawt. I love it. Hmmmm, i'll make my brother search high and low for that dog tag. Un na lng hingiin ko na pasalubong.

I LOVE ELY!!!!!

Survey Time

Sports Talkin'

It's Sunday. Fight Night and some major basketball and tennis games taking place elsewhere. I haven't blog about sports since Fed's heartbreaking Aussie Finals lost to Rafa. It's just that my heart is really not into it. I even forgot that hardcourt season is way over and time for some dirt kickin' at Roland Garros this May. So let us do the recap.

Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao scored a TO against Ricky Hatton during the second round of their much anticipated bout. The entire Philippines must be rejoicing, GMA should make Monday a non-working holiday coz lots of Filipino would be suffering from hangover due to the victory celebration for Pacman. I have a theory about Pacman's lucky charm, and it's not his daughter Queen Elizabeth. It's Aling Dionisia's make-over, lolz. I love that woman, werq it Nanay!

Now time for some NBA news. Celtics fans must be ecstatic because their team just survived game 7 against the hard-fighting Chicago Bulls. Funny that i almost forgot that it's playoffs already. I still believe that this year's champ is gonna come from the East. Cavs or Celtics perhaps? I am personally rooting for King James, it would be interesting to see him battle it out with Kobe in the finals. So its now Lakers vs. Rockets, Mavs vs. Nuggets in the West semis, and Celtics vs. Magics, Cavs vs. Heats or Hawks in the East semis. My player to watch: Melo Anthony and Lebron James.

Tennis news, now this one makes me cringe again. Soon-to-be daddy and just married Federer lost "again" to Djokovoc in three sets at the Rome Master Series. Why am i not even surprise? It's been downhill for Fed since the Oz final. He better get his act together, coz Roland Garros is just a few weeks away and Nadal is looking strong and still the favorite to win this year. I did not even bother to check the WTA, i couldn't care less if Sharapova plays again or if Jankovic was upset by Penetta. I wouldn't be surprise if Serena wins the French Open seeing that Ana Ivanovic is flying off the tennis radar these days. Makes me wish that Hingis is still playing. At least she is not boring to watch. Heard that Kim Clijsters is gonna make a comeback, hmm maybe i should plead Henin to play again. But then it's only been a year since she retired.

I am blabbing like crazy again. Sports makes me do this. I would probably die of happiness if i can get a job as a sports commentator. I can also remember the times that i cried because of some stupid game. Federer would top my list. I cried during his Wimbledon lost last year and was really heartbroken when again Nadal defeated him in the Oz Final. I couldn't sleep for a night because of that. Hingis is the runner-up. I shed buckets of tears during her epic 1999 French Open finals against Graf. It's Steffi, i know she is the best, but Martina's break down really got to me. And again Hingis failed to finish of Capriati in the 2002 Aussie Open finals. And i developed a hatred for the Lakers because they always get on the way of the Sacramento Kings. That was way back, and i had a huge crush on Jason Williams. My ex-bf loved to comment on how Williams cannot do any kind of defense and take stupid three-point shots at the wrong time. To which i would reply, "at least he got great ball-handling skills." Then i got over that crush and moved on. I don't even know what team he is playing for, still in Miami? I don't really care anymore.

Now it's midway through clay season. Time to slide and get dirty. French Open is just around the corner. Will be making tennis posts more in the next coming weeks. VAmos!

Survey Time

40 days

It's gonna be a long 40 days. Yesterday i drove my brother to Dubai because he will have his 40 days vacation. I never thought that i would actually feel sad. I am used to living here alone for almost a year before he came over. And now i am actually regretting taking my vacation last December. I should have just waited a couple more months and take a vacation on July.

Since coming back last January, my brother has been the one preparing our meals, occasionally doing my laundry, washing my car, accompanying me on long drives, and doing all small mundane things for me. I am greatly pampered. It's not the i don't know how to do these things, he just likes doing it, and of course i am well happy to oblige. The fact is he doesn't want me going out alone, and risk the chance of anything bad happening to me. And i think you can also attribute it to the fact that since we were in grade 2, we have been looking out for each other's back. One friend even told me that when my brother and i talk, it seems like we have our own world and we have our own language that nobody else can understand. Di pa ata nya kami nakita na mag away kaya nasabi nya yun. Nung maliit pa kami madalas kami mag boxingan, as in literal na away, kaya madalas din kami mapalo nung yaya namin nun. Ngayon naman pag nag aaway kami, sigawan naman. Pero maya maya wala na bati na ulit kami.

Of course i am very happy that he gets to spend time with his family. And we were always praying that by God's grace he can bring them here also. As for me, i decided to look at the next 40 days as my "diet days". Back to eating bread, yogurt, fruits, and the occassional fast food junk that i love. I just hope i survive.

It's All About ME

Bored again. The object is to complete each of the following snippets. I got this one from fellow blogger Aggie.

I am : seriously cold right now
I think: i need to take panadol for my headache
I know: what will happen in the next few months
I have: to wake up before 6 am tomorrow for intercessory prayer
I wish: I can now buy my DeeDee 2.0 as DeeDee will be sent to PI in 2 days
I hate: the fact the i will be on my own for the next 40 days
I miss: Lance...he is taking summer classes now and very proud of all the stars on his hands and sings new songs everyday
I fear: not being able to complete my tasks on time
I hear: some old songs from my officemate's computer
I smell: coffee (nakaka adik)
I crave: for Krispy Kreme
I search: for a shop where i can buy DeeDee 2.0 (nikon d80)
I wonder: if i will push through with IELTS this year and AUS application next year
I regret: doing a lot of crazy things
I love: being love
I ache: for a head to toe massage, mani and pedi, and a full 8 hours sleep
I am not: very crazy about working right now
I believe: in happy endings
I dance: very badly
I sing: very badly also XD
I cry: over any sappy movies
I fight: with no one in particular these days..
I win: but i also lost most of the time
I never: would have done it
I always: pray
I confuse: people when i am nervous
I listen: to my ipod to help me sleep
I can usually be found: on the net, eating something, running or sleeping
I am scared: of falling
I need: to go back to 50 kgs.
I am happy about: the way i have matured (choosss)
I imagine: that Ely B. is singing me to sleep hahaha

I tag: anyone who wants to answer this meme

Metal: My Element

According to the "which element are you" quiz on FB, my element is metal. Read on:

"Look at you. Metal. You're quite the force to be reckoned with or, better yet, quite the force to reckon with. Aside from having a chilling beauty and allure about you, a reflective nature that allows for people to see themselves in you but never the actual you inside yourself, you are immune to most attacks. You have built up quite the system of defenses to keep you from being hurt, but in doing such have alienated yourself from much of the elemental world. Sure, some fiery spirit could come along and melt those walls but the real fear may come from what is left of you without them. Your place in the world: An unwavering defender of those you see worth protecting."

I wonder who makes these quizzes and how the hell did they come up with all these answers. But i've gotta say this one hits the mark. I particularly *a*e these so-called "fiery spirit". I always fall for them. Ay ewan, bahala na nga sila sa buhay nila. LOL.

The Future

I can already see my blog post in the next few months.
This always happens when i am extremely, utterly and stunningly happy.
So i am now bracing myself for the near future.
But as they say..Live, Laugh, and Love.
And i'm doing all three of them now. (",)

photo from: angelsxtwistedxromance(photobucket site)

Boredom Makes Me Do This

Boredom is the only thing that makes me answer tags. I just finished visiting all my favorite sites and its only 1 pm. I am close to falling asleep in my office table while staring blankly at the hotel design scheme that i am suppose to be doing. It's one of those days when there are no revisions, no deadlines and no crazy clients that i have to deal with. And most of you know that i work better under pressure. I am so close to sleeping on my favorite yellow couch but stopped myself because i just ate a full lunch. So here goes the tag:

001. Name → Abby Ann
002. Nickname(s)→ Abby (to friends), B-Ann (to family), Bhe (close friends and exes haha), Achie (to my sister and brother)
004. Zodiac sign → Leo
005. Male or female → Female.
006. Elementary → Leg. Hope Christian School, Legaspi City
008. High School → same as my elementary school
009. College School → Bicol University College of Engineering, Dept. of Architecture (where drinking during school hours is necessary haha)
010. Hair color → Black.
011. Long or short → long
012. Loud or Quiet → quiet
013. Jumpers or Jeans → Jeans.
014. Phone or Camera → camera (istorbo sa social life ang phone pag tatawag ang boss ko XD)
015. Health freak → yeah
016. Drink or Smoke? → uhhhmmm...smoke (guilty of breaking the health freak image)
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Nope. (crush is so HS)
018. Eat or Drink → Eat.
019. Piercings → 3 on my right ear, 4 on my left ear, 7 in all, it used to be 8
020. Tattoos → None. (but wishing for one)

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → When I was a baby.
024. First best friend → OMG i forgot the name
025. First award → 1st Honor - Grade 1.
026. First crush → i think his name was Mark, during elementary haha
027. First pet → a fish
028. First big vacation → Baguio??
030. First big birthday → i forgot how old i was, but it was the one where i am wearing a hello kitty-like headband and my front tooth was missing because i ate too much sweets

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → finished eating my lunch
050. Drinking → black coffee (adik)
052. I'm about to → fall asleep on my office table due to boredom
053. Listening to → music coming from my office mate's computer
054. Plans for today → do the laundry..and sleep
055. Waiting for → 6:00 pm

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? → oo naman
059. Want to get married? → uhhhmmm maybe in 2-3 years
060. Careers in mind → sports commentator, i'll die of happiness if i do get this job.

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE BOY/GIRL YOU LIKE?
068. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
070. Shorter or taller - Taller.
072. Romantic or spontaneous → spontaneous
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → Nice arms.
074. Sensitive or loud→ Sensitive.
075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
076. Trouble maker or hesitant → trouble maker...i always fall for this one hahaha

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → glasses
081. Ran away from home → no
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → no (but my brother gave me a teargas when i was reviewing in manila)
083. Killed somebody → Never.
084. Broke someone's heart → Yes.
085. Been arrested → Never.
087. Cried when someone died → Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → Yes.
090. Miracles → Definitely.
091. Love at first sight → No.
092. Heaven → Yes.
093. Santa Claus → No.
094. Tooth Fairy → No.
095. Kiss on the first date → uhhhmmm depends

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Yes.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → Yes. but it can be better
099. Do you believe in God → Yes.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 20 people→ i'll tag anybody who wants to do this tag.

Running

*warning: sappy post below. so if you don't want to puke, stop reading now.*

I wish i can be able to do some running today after work. I badly needed it. I need some time for myself, something that i cannot do when i am in the office or when i am at home.

I need to run...because it is the only time that i can think. Because it is the only time that i can talk to myself.

I need to run... because i need to be able to feel. Because it is the only time that i can understand what is going on inside my heart.

I have been confused for the most part of this month. I have been constantly praying for peace of mind, but i guess He still wants me to learn something and i haven't learn it yet that's why He is being persistent.

I guess i have been listening more to other people's problems, to their needs that i forgot to listen to myself. I have been a mother, an ate, a friend, a confidant, a daughter, a listener, an encourager, a shock absorber for most part of this month. I think i forgot to be me. Why is it that i easily absorb everybody's feelings that sometimes i want to lock myself in the bathroom and just look at the mirror and fed my own emotion for myself.

It's the first time in two years that i felt this kind of confusion. I want to take the jump but i don't wanna fall. I want to take the risk but i don't want to get hurt. I want to say "pick me, choose me, love me.." but the words don't want to come out of my mouth. I want to let go, but i want to hold on as well. I want to give myself the chance to be happy but i also like being sad. I have waited seven years, and i must admit that i am tired. Until now he doesn't see me. I know it's time to let go. I want to give myself a good shot at finding the one who would feel the same way that i feel for him. Finding someone that is real.

Hopefully when i get to run tonight, i can get a clearer picture of what i want in my life. I can make the decisions without relying on just my heart but also with my mind. Maybe that's why i like running. Sometimes i wish i can run forever, without stopping, without trying to catch my breathe. But sometimes also, i wish that someone is running right beside me. So that when i fall down he will pick me up. When i get tired we can stop under a tree, sit down, and enjoy a quiet moment together.

So tonight i am hoping to run and have a good talk with myself.

*photo courtesy of http://www.cartereport.org/prayer-article.asp?ID=6

Disappointed

And so i thought you were different...
It breaks my heart to know that you are not.

While I Am Waiting

Another week has just ended. Oh how i wish everyday is a friday. I am actually trying to sleep early (it's almost 12 mn) because tomorrow will be another long day. Satruday was suppose to be a half day for us, but with the work load that we have right now, rest is really not an option. It's been like this for almost a month now, all the back logs has finally caught up on us and now clients are asking for revisions every so often. When i came back from vacation last Jan. 20, we had almost a month of rest. There are no projects coming in. But praise the Lord because now projects are pouring in and that means good business for us.

For the past 3 weeks i only get to sleep 3-4 hours max a day. Even where there is no work, my mind and my body just don't want to rest. I just had so many things going on that my mind and my heart is having a hard time processing all of them together, But one by one, they are being resolved by God's grace. I don't wanna put anymore details here, but i guess John Waller's song "While I Am Waiting" sums it all up. The lyrics and melody is so beautiful, and i also recommend that you watch the movie Fireproof, coz the song is on the movie soundtrack.

I do not know when i will be ready to take that risk, or if i will be even ready for that now. All i know is that for every leap of faith that i take, He has my back, through and through.
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WHILE I'M WAITING
By: John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord